


Why won't you look at me?

by djarinbarnes



Series: Sebastian Stan [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Issues, F/M, Feels, Light Angst, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:21:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21558505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djarinbarnes/pseuds/djarinbarnes
Summary: i found this in my notes, it’s old and shitty, but it’s my first smut, so i’m leaving it up for improvement comparison for my later work 😇
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Sebastian Stan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553680
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

It had started out with lingering gazes. As an intern at Stark Industries, you had over time met the residents during your work shifts. One man had caught your eyes in particular; he was tall, well built and had, by the looks of it, the softest brunette locks you had ever seen. His face looked like something taken right off a Michelangelo sculpture. His eyes were a beautiful shade of blue, and you had lost yourself in them the first time you made eye contact.

It wasn't exactly at the most convenient time he had walked in. He had smiled at you, winked and sat down at the end of the table, and you had accidentally spilled water all over Mr. Starks papers. Terrified, you had apologized at least 25 times before Mr. Stark had smiled and waved you off. You had felt the heat rising in your cheeks as you looked at the man seated at the table, before hurrying out of the room and into the bathroom. You looked at yourself and cursed under you breath. You really needed this job, and you feared this mistake would jinx that. You opened the tab and held your wrists under the cold running water. You sighed and relaxed, feeling the embarrassment slowly wash off.

Pepper strode into the bathroom and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks once again.

"Hey, it's alright" she said with a small laugh and you shook your head. "Honestly, it is. The meeting hadn't started yet, and those papers in front of Tony, were not relevant. I was bringing in the right papers just after you spilled the water." You looked up at Pepper with a small smile.

"I just need this job so badly. I don't want to get fired" you sighed and turned off the tabs, drying your wrists on a paper towel. "Hey Pepper, can I ask you something?" You said hesitantly asked and bit your lip slightly. She looked at you and nodded. "Who was that man?"

"The buff brunette? That's James Barnes. He goes by Bucky. He's arrived here a few weeks ago from Wakanda. You've heard of the place, right?" You nodded and waited for Pepper to continue. "He's living here to help with his rehabilitation. He's doing good." She smiled and left the bathroom. I bit the inside of my cheek. _James Barnes. Bucky._

A few weeks passed, and your infatuation with Bucky only grew stronger. Every time you laid eyes on each other it was with an undertone of lust. Your body slowly yearned more and more for the broad shouldered super soldier. Every glance between the two of you sent jolts to the place in between your legs, the place where you suddenly felt an urge you've never felt this strong before.

A few days later, when filling a jug of water for on the meetings in the Stark tower, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. A pair of lips ghosted over the shell of your ear and you shuddered under the warm breath. The feeling of coarse stubble on your neck had you weak on your feet, and you leaned back into the muscular chest. A hand slid up under your jacket, sliding across the fabric of your buttoned up shirt. You moaned softly and smiled, before turning around. Bucky stepped back and cleared his throat. You bit your lip at him and he left the kitchen rather suddenly, leaving you dumbfounded.

Days passed since the incident in the kitchen, and you were still confused about what had happened and why Bucky had left you there without a word. You found him seated in one of the big lounge rooms, overlooking the New York City skyline. You gathered your courage and felt a rush of warmth between your legs. You bent down behind him, and nibbled at his earlobe.

"Hey (y/n)" you could hear the smile in his words and you slid your hands down the front of his shirt, feeling the built up pectoral muscles of his torso. "What are you up to?" He sighed as your lips traveled down his neck.

"I want you to take me into your room and have your way with me." You were surprised of your sudden confidence, but you were even more surprised when he rose from his seat, grabbed your hand and lead you into his room. As he closed the door, you rid yourself of your heels before awaiting his next move. He placed you at the end of his bed and kept your back to him as you heard rustling behind you, and soft thuds on the floor.

A hand grabbed the neck of your jacket, and you could feel his fingers caressing your neck as he slid it off your shoulders. His hands traveled around your body and unbuttoned the buttons of your shirt. You laid your head back on his shoulder and moaned quietly, as he slid it off your shoulders gently, and dropped it on the floor beside you. His fingers gently unclamped your bra, and slipped it off your arms, letting his hands glide up your arms, and to your breasts. He cupped one of your breasts while letting his left hand glide down your stomach slowly. The vibranium felt impressively cold on your warm skin, and you let out another moan.

His right hand left your breast as he moved to unzip your skirt, and you sighed as it fell off your hips to pool at your ankles. You moved to face him, but he held you in place, much to your confusion. "Don't" he commanded and you nodded. "Rid your panties, then get on the bed, on your knees." You slid the fabric down your legs, hoping he wouldn't notice the damp spot in the crotch of the fabric. Then, you lifted your right leg, bending it and placing it on the bed before you, followed by your left leg.

He slid his hand down the curve of your back, to the rounding of your ass. His fingers slid around your hips, between your legs, slowly but steadily, and found the wetness between them. You moaned softly and let your head fall forward. You felt the warmth of Bucky's naked body behind you as he pressed his chest against your back. You could feel his hardening member against your backside, and you moaned in anticipation. His left hand found your neck and he pushed you down, your head resting on this bedsheets. "Stay there." You nodded and bit your lip, trying to calm your breathing.

You felt his fingers against you once again, as he rubbed a finger in between your folds. You moaned softly and released your lip as his finger slid into you, gathering your wetness and spreading it around. He inserted another finger into you and thrusted them into you at a steady pace. Moans left your mouth as his fingers worked their magic on you, readying your for what was to come.

You whimpered as his fingers left your warmth, and held your breath as you felt the tip of his cock against your folds. He rubbed his cock between your folds, covering it in your slick, before inserting himself slowly, letting out a throaty moan.

You moaned as the thickness of his length caressed the insides of your vagina. "Fuck" You whispered and sighed. You hadn't seen what Bucky was equipped with, but you knew by now that he was bigger than any man you had ever been with. You moaned loudly when he caught your hips with his strong hands, thrusting into you forcefully. You hadn't even noticed him pulling slightly out of you. He kept a rapid pace, his length burying itself in your heat heftily. Your moans were swallowed as you pushed your head into his bedsheets, overwhelmed by the power of his thrusts. "B... Bucky..." You felt your orgasm approaching, and you moaned, pushing yourself up in your elbows. Bucky's left hand found your neck and you were pushed down into the bedsheets again, his fingers tightening around the nape. "I said stay... down." He said through gritted teeth and you whimpered.

The force of his hand pushed you closer to the edge, as did his thrusts. You moaned loudly and he turned your head into the sheets, silencing you once again. He picked up the pace and was now slamming into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin and his moans emitting deep from his throat filling the room. Your silenced moans in the bedsheets grew frantic as your high washed over you, your hands gripping the sheets tightly, your walls clenching around Bucky's cock. He pulled out of you as he came with a forceful grunt, his warm cum landing on your back. He left you shortly, then came back and cleaned your back and dried you off with a warm washcloth, before helping you to your feet.

You watched as he grabbed his boxers and slid them back on, admiring him in all his glory. You put on your clothes and watched him do the same. His eyes found yours and you bit your lip. He motioned for the door and you nodded and left, feeling defeated.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks passed, and it became a habit for the two of you to have sex a few times a week. Few words were spoken, and he would always take you in the same position, from behind. You feared he didn't want to look at you, since you during the whole act would have your face embedded into the sheets. You feared he was disgusted by you, since you haven't shared kisses yet. You found him at the time the two of you had arranged, the last time you had had sex, and you decided to confront him. Just as he was motioning for you to stand in your usual spot, you spoke up.

"Why won't you look at me when we have sex?" You asked, and his eyes bore into yours. "You always take me from behind. You barely speak. Is there something wrong with me?" You bit the inside of your cheek, not wanting to show weakness.

"Nothing's wrong with you. It's... me." His eyes shot to the ground and he bit his lip. He paced the room and avoided eye contact. "I'm afraid. Afraid of what I'll do to you. Afraid that I'll hurt you. I'm still not in contact with myself. That's why I haven't... looked at you. I'm afraid if I bring feelings into this, I'll relapse. I'm afraid you won't like me. Hate me. And this thing" He gestured to his arm as you walked over to him, slowly. "Please, don't." He closed his eyes and sighed. You laid your hand on his cheek and he leaned into it hesitantly.

"I'm not afraid of you Bucky." You said lowly and he opened his eyes, looking at you. You collected every ounce of courage in your body and pushed yourself on your toes, ghosting your lips over his. His hands quickly found your body, one on behind your head and the other on your waist. His lips came down onto yours gently, your hand, not situated on his cheek, sliding up into his hair, grasping the locks. He laid his forehead against yours and sighed. "I'm not afraid of you." You repeated. Your hand caressed his cheek and for the first time in a long time, Bucky's heart fluttered.

Bucky walked you backwards, still holding onto you, and stopped when the two of you stood by the foot of the bed. He slowly undid the buttons of your shirt, looking into your eyes for confirmation, which you granted by placing another chaste kiss on his lips. He slid the shirt down your arms, his hands finding your hips. They rested there shortly while he leaned in, capturing your lips in another kiss, then sliding his hands behind your back, pulling down the zipper of your skirt. It fell to the floor, and you grabbed the hem of Bucky's shirt and pulled it over his head. Your eyes and hands admired on his torso, your fingers tracing every dent around his well built muscles. He sighed at your touch and admired your every move.

Your hands found the button of his pants, and you unbuttoned them, pulling down the zipper as well. The pants slid down his legs easily, and he stepped out of them and kicked them away. You rose to your full height, capturing his lips once again. You grabbed his arms and moved back against his bed, laying down on your back, Bucky following, laying on top of you. "I don't know what to do.." He stammered lightly and you stroked his arm softly.

"Just do what you usually do. It's okay. I trust you" You said, reaching behind you, unclamping your bra and taking it off. Bucky's eyes fell to your chest, and he bit his lip at the sight. You let out a small giggle, and he looked up at you, leaning in to kiss you again. You kissed him sweetly, urging him to continue, while your hands fiddled with the edge of his boxers. He rose to his knees, and watched you underneath him with a smile. His hands found the elastic of your panties, his fingers hooking into the fabric, pulling them down your legs.

He leaned down and, to your surprise, kissed his way down your thighs. You sighed softly, watching him descend in between your legs. You moaned when his tongue found your clit. He licked his way down to your entrance, then back up, grazing your clit with his teeth. You gasped and your hands found their way into his hair, grabbing the soft locks. His fingers joined his tongue, as he pushed two fingers into your entrance. You let out a long moan as his fingers warmed you up, curling inside you gracefully. You whimpered as he pulled out his fingers, not wanting to give you what you desired just yet.

You watched as he slid his boxers down, freeing his throbbing cock. You bit your lip, admiring him in all his glory. You'd never admired him longer than a few seconds, and here he was, right in front of you. You licked your lips as you took in his appearance. He crawled back in between your legs, hesitantly leaning in to kiss you. Your hand flew up and stroked the side of his stomach, trying to relax him. You sent him a calming smile before capturing his lips in a kiss.

He closed the gap between your bodies, reaching in between you, grabbing onto his cock and nudging it between your folds. You moaned softly, your eyes fluttering closed as he pushed himself into you slowly. He thrusted into you gently, like it was your first time or like you were as fragile as glass. He admired your face as he thrusted into you, how your nose would scrunch up as his cock was at its deepest. "Please Bucky" the words fell from your mouth like music, and he sighed. His lips found your lips just as his hands found your hips, holding you against him tightly while increasing the intensity of his thrusts. "Oh please" you begged, orgasm approaching rapidly.

Your hands found the curve of his neck, gently tangling your fingers into his hair as Bucky lifted your hips gently, thrusting deeper into you. His pelvic bone ground against you, giving you intense stimulation, and you moaned loudly as your orgasm danced on the edge. His mouth found yours as your leg wrapped around his hip, nudging him closer to you. The new found angle and his deep thrust sent you over the edge, your toes curling and your mouth gaping open. You felt Bucky's breath grow irregular, his moans grow louder and he looked at you desperately. You gave him a small smile and he held you impossibly closer, getting lost in his own euphoria as he came inside you with a strangled moan. You gasped at the tightening arms around you and nuzzled your face into his neck as he slowly came down from his high.

He pulled back from you slowly, releasing your body from his grip as you relaxed back into the pillow. His hand traveled up to your cheek where he caressed it lightly, watching your eyes flutter open. He smiled down at you and you smiled back at the man above you, leaning up and kissing his lips softly. He grabbed a tissue and cleaned you up, and you blushed as you watched him be so intimate with you. You giggled at him and covered your face with your hands, and rolled onto your side, checking the clock on his nightstand. It was later than first anticipated, and you felt him lift you gently, pulling the bedsheets out from under you.

"Do you maybe... wanna... I don't know... Stay the night? Maybe.. Only if you want to" He blabbered, and you laughed gently. You felt the bed beside you dip, and turned to your other side, finding him laying right beside you, now facing you. You bit your lip and nodded, and he smiled. His hand found your hip and he pulled you flush against him, leaning over giving you a kiss. "Thank you for not being... Scared of me. It's been a long time since I've been with someone like that. I... liked it. A lot." He said as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I liked it as well. I like you. Thank you for opening yourself up to me." You smiled and yawned. He pushed himself up a bit, kissing your forehead and stroking your hair. You closed you eyes and fell asleep quickly, with a smile on your face. Bucky laid there for a long time, admiring you as you slept soundly by his side. He rolled over on his back, left arm behind his head as he closed his eyes and dozed off into a much needed slumber.


End file.
